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Sunday, 28 June 2009

More selfless research

You may remember seeing this picture before.

It was snapped at the Oval during the recent World Cup Twenty20 match between England and the West Indies. I wrote about it here and promised a further happy pic.

In the interests of the pro-choice movement, I endured the penury of a sunny day at the Surrey/Middlesex match on Saturday, complete with copious lashings of Scrumpy Jack, to fulfill my promise to you.

Just in case cricket-lovers aren't able to look up and see the many 'smoking permitted' green ticks screwed to the wall at just over head high, there is a further embracing welcome to their customers available by looking down.

I do hope that you will understand the immense torture I have suffered in gaining this proof that Surrey Cricket Club are all-round good eggs. A further day watching engrossing cricket featuring top-quality talent like England international Owais Shah is a tough ask.

Especially with exceptionally attractive and well-adjusted ladies, adorned in very flimsy attire, being highly in abundance. It was hell, I tell ya.

It was equally horrific that I was forced to travel to the O2 Arena last Saturday to selflessly observe the War of the Worlds 30th Anniversary Live Tour, just to report back to you that a promoter was selling discounted cigarettes to the attendees. A mere £5 for Benson & Hedges, for example, and they were giving away portable ashtrays too.

You see, business actually likes smokers, and why wouldn't they when they make up 22% or more of their income. Much to the chagrin of the pulchritudinally-challenged and truth-restricted souls at ASH, I would imagine.

One can almost hear the angst of Dockrell et al as they feverishly dream up hate campaigns against highly-respected and hugely-funded venues such as these. After all, choice must be stifled at all costs by those taking the Labour government's shilling.

So, can I relax for a bit now? Because I've had one hell of a time. I hope you understand.


Michael McManus UKIP said...

Can't say I've ever seen one of those green signs. Makes me think of the words of Queen Victoria's son when he found out she was dead

"Gentlemen, you may smoke". The Queen didn't like smoke, so never let anyone smoke around her.

TheBigYin said...

Dick, you are selfless to the end. Never been to a cricket match but it was nice to see those signs. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh Dick, Oh Dick, Oh Dick
Please tell us there is no veritas in your
relishment of 20-20 and War of the World's.
Tis but a little well meant humour to ease the sadness of readers whose reason for living
is Corrie ,Eastenders and Casualty.
We simple sad serfs in the North cling to a
fading dream of smoky taverns,dark wit and
mindless debate not to mention the occasional
stupour of alcoholic excess.
Now a void ,a soul sapping silence , an enforced isolation, an England fit only for
fools and their followers.
Will we ever,ever see a free Albion again

Fritz&Fanny ( Clue:Cliff Richard hit)

B7 said...

Dick, I thought I was a football fan with no time for the willow.

Hey I think I have made the conversion.

Michael J. McFadden said...

Thank you Dick! I have to say, I particularly like the chirpy little check mark above the words: it emphasizes that this is a GOOD thing!

Michael J. McFadden
Author of "Dissecting Antismokers' Brains"

BTS said...

How appropriate that the Ashes are starting on Wednesday..

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