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Monday, 5 October 2009

Rip van Weasels wake up

Sniff.

Is that the aroma of an imminently reconvening parliament I can smell, as the anti-tobacco crazies brew their wake up coffee in preparation for another term of propaganda peddling?

This one has been accurately fisked by England Expects, but why not shine some more light on the shifty machinations of one of the government's paid-for stooges, eh?

MPs urged to help put cigs out of sight

PEOPLE in North East England are calling on the region's MPs to vote in favour of putting cigarettes out of sight in shops.

Err ... no, PEOPLE are not. Ailsa Rutter, who sorts out her mortgage on the back of taxpayer-funded Department of Health grants, IS.

Ailsa Rutter, director of Fresh – Smoke Free North East, said: "This is not about penalising smokers."

Summer must have been good to Ailsa, she's cracking jokes now.

"This is about protecting them, not about restricting the rights of those smokers who don't want to quit."

To translate: This is about the fact that I've just come back from a lovely holiday in Antigua that you all paid for, and now I need to con MPs and the public before the upcoming commons third reading (just as ASH did to the Lords), so that I can book that fortnight in Hawaii for next year ... for which you are also stumping up. I've bought the grass skirt and everything.

Meanwhile, others have been performing some incredibly important, and in no way pre-determined, 'research'.

THE health burden from smoking is costing the Welsh NHS more than £7m a week, a report reveals today.

Oh. My. God. That's awful!

All those people smoking and destroying the NHS without ever contributing a penny in tobacco duty, income taxes, NI contributions, VAT, or anything. How on earth can they live with themselves?

Burning at the stake is too good for them.

The findings commissioned by anti-smoking group ASH Wales and British Heart Foundation Cymru, are being presented at an international tobacco control conference in Cardiff.

In other news, BP reported that gas powered cars cause all accidents in the UK, and Ryanair revealed new research showing that three kids riding tricycles in the park are more environmentally damaging than a dozen Boeings landing at Stansted.

Actually, I've had another sniff and I think my olfactory senses were misled. It's not the recall of parliament I can smell, but an avalanche of shrill, hysterical, tobacco control bullshit.
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