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Friday, 24 July 2009

After the smokers they came for...

For the past two nights an advert has been playing out on our North of England TV screens. An ad sponsored by such august fake charities as

Photobucket Photobucket and Photobucket

An ad that boasts:
Over 90% of the UK’s adult population drink alcohol. Studies show that North East England has one of the highest levels of alcohol consumption in the country.
Where have I heard that before? Ah yes, the same chit I've been hearing about my homeland since I was a boy in the fifties, especially my home town of Glasgow, which has always been seen as the "sick man of Europe!" How the hell Glasgow ever got to be the first European City of Culture with that reputation this Glasgow boy will never know! But I digress.
The time has come when we all need to talk about the role alcohol plays in our lives.
Well, the majority of people in this shiny Nu Labour world of Alice in Wonderland like a wee tincture or two after work, not every day you understand, and on the occassional weekend get blasted and have a fucking ball, so sue us...oops, sorry I said that, bastards!
What do people in the North East really think about the alcohol issue? We invite you to contribute to an open and honest debate.
Open and honest debate, hmmm, where have I heard that before? Ah, yes, the "open and honest" smoking ban debate which resulted in the largest 'minority' in this Kingdom being treated as lepers because they like a drink smoke in the comfort of an adult place of relaxation, the pub!
The feedback will influence how we tackle risky drinking.

Feedback? Risky drinking? I can smell a quantifiable scientific study questionaire in the air...sniff.

To achieve this, we are asking people to fill in a short and simple questionnaire, and enter the prize draw to win one of 10 iPod Shuffles.
Well there you go then, for the chance of winning an iPod Shuffle you only have to fill in their innocuous 'questionaire' and you are quids in...
This information will be used to produce a detailed report that will be shared with key decision-makers with the aim of developing a regional alcohol strategy. It will also help shape future government policy on this vital issue.
What's the betting YOU will not be a key decision maker and have NO control over this VITAL issue?

But do enjoy your iPod Shuffle, if you should ever be a winner.


Curmudgeon said...

Oh, the site in the link won't load. What a surprise there.

Anonymous said...

They can take their I-Pod, dip into polyunsaturated marge, grill it, and while
still blistering hot ram it up as far as
possible. Patricia Hewitts rear passage.

Sark Hastic

B7 said...

Ah' a questionnaire, that will be a document with loaded questions to achieve the outcome they want. They will then proclaim mass support for another nazi policy just the same as the smoking ban.

Instead of sending back a questionnaire people should send them a short note telling them to stick their busy body interference up their ***** !!

Bearwitch said...

@B7 - spot on. Just had a glance at the questionnaire and it appears fully loaded. For example, if you say that you drink loads and put down that the cost of alcohol would reduce your consumption in another question, that can give them carte blanche for them to raise the cost of alcohol due to 'a large percent of people saying that they would reduce their intake if it cost more'. I suspect further analysis would reveal a lot of the same idea. What a bunch of little cleverclogs they are.

And how much did it cost them to put this together? More waste of money on a survey which only serves the purpose of agreeing with them, regardless of which way you try to answer it.

SAPAC is soon going to have the longest URL ever.

Bearwitch said...

Oops, that should have said SOPAC

Curmudgeon said...

Yes, they will inevitably use this totally loaded and bogus survey as the basis of a news release supporting further restrictions on alcohol. And there isn't even a comments box so you can tell them to piss off.

TheBigYin said...

At last, I got my comp working again, the little bastard. Right, tried to reply to you last night Curmudgeon but comp shit on me.

I tested the link to the questionaire before publishing and it worked ok but when I tried again after your post it wouldn't work. All's well now but I wonder if their site went down because loads of anti drink whingers tried to fill in the form?

Reading the excellent Velvet Glove and it's plain to see that the anti smokers came from the temperance movement and now there's a shift back towards the anti alcohol campaign.

Anonymous said...

Curmudgeon, I bet that is why they do not leave a comments box lol.
Some great comments on here.
Any of them charities NOT an arm of the government John?

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