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Thursday, 29 July 2010

Thank you, thank you, thank you boss…

…now kiss my lilly white arse!

Two pieces of ‘news’ crossed my path today and I’m not in a conciliatory or humble mood after reading this pap:

0,,10273~3748565,00Now open at Elland Road, sin bin for smokers 

ELLAND ROAD - SMOKING AREAS

Smoking areas within the stadium...

The club has been creating additional areas inside Elland Road stadium to enable fans to smoke on a matchday.

Fans in the South Stand, East Stand, North Stand, North East Corner, and South East Corner will have access to smoking areas for the 2010/11 season.

The areas in the North Stands are newly constructed and the areas are adjacent to the turnstiles and exit gates so can be primarily used once the game has started.

Any fans using these areas are encouraged to following the instructions of the stewards in maintaining a clear passage to exits in case of use.

How very kind of you, the next time I buy my season ticket for the princely sum of £480 I will doff my cap and whisper a little prayer to your kindness in allowing me into your new, super dooper sin bin for smokers.

CEO Shaun Harvey said: "We've put these facilities into place so people who need to smoke will have the opportunity to do so in an authorised area rather than in the stands or toilets which causes significant discomfort to other fans.

"We hope fans will appreciate these measures taken and restrict their smoking to these areas so as not to spoil the enjoyment of others.

"Unfortunately, these areas will not exist in the North West Corner or the West Stand as there is insufficient space for them to be incorporated in those stands. They will remain non-smoking stands."

Oh thank you Shaun for your clubs benevolence which has brought me to tears whilst writing this. And what do you mean “We’ve put these facilities into place so people who NEED to smoke?”  How about we WANT to smoke? I suppose that does not fit into the anti smokers agenda when they see us as drug addicts driven by need and have no choice, smokers choose to smoke, period!

Was the smoking ban being ignored in the stands Shaun? Is that why the patronising board at Elland Road gave smokers their sin bins?

New boss, same old, same old.

smoking_outsideRelax ladies, your safe, relatively speaking, for now.

And now the shiny new coalition government has decided not to implement the previous NuLabour bansterbator’s “outside smoking ban” but let the SmokeFree fake charities know that they were not ‘rolling back’ the ban. Who’s kissing lilly white arses now?

Smokers will continue lighting up outside pubs and offices after ministers yesterday scrapped plans to extend the ban.

Phewww, that saves me some jail time for smacking some no mark ‘enforcer’ in the mouth as he berates me for sitting outside the Jovial Monk having a fag whilst freezing my nuts off.

The last government had proposed enlarging ‘smoke-free’ zones to include the areas around building entrances, but this has been shelved.

Good, I’m glad that that particular piece of crap has been shelv…SHELVED! What do you mean shelved??? Does that mean when you’ve ran out of ideas (if you ever had any) you will look on the shelves, dust something down that has been lost in your dim and distant memory and say “that’ll do, can’t be seen to be doing nothing, after all, it’s only smokers and our friends at Fake Charities “R” Us tell me that they are a dying breed so harassing them will provoke no sympathy, even if they are passed their three score and ten.”

Anne Milton, public health minister, said: ‘We have studied the smokefree legislation and decided not to proceed with the planned review.’

Well Anne, I’ll just wait till you and your coalition has it’s feet well and truly under the Westmonster table before I sigh a sigh of relief.

She added: ‘We are not rolling back the smoking ban, nor are we deploying austerity as an excuse for deregulation.

Well of course you and your new boss, Cleggy, are not ‘rolling back the smoking ban’ Anne, you told us as much when you rolled out your much vaunted  ‘Great Repeal Act’ of Labours 600 new iniquitous laws, and there is none so iniquitous than the smoking ban experiment.

Hey, but don’t listen to us, we are scum, you have said as much in your diatribe above, no, listen to the vested interests that want your our money:

But doctors and health campaigners fear further proposals to cut the rates of lung cancer and other smoking related diseases could also be scrapped. 

These include banning cigarettes being displayed at the front of shops or being sold in vending machines, both put forward in Labour’s Health Act last year.

A spokesman for the British Medical Association said: ‘The BMA is extremely concerned that the Government will not implement the 2009 Health Act.

‘These laws are vital as they will help put an end to the loopholes that allow tobacco to be advertised to children.

Can you hear the squealing? The squealing of suckling pigs as they are taken away from their mothers governments teats!

Doff my cap I wont!

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