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Thursday, 29 July 2010

Thank you, thank you, thank you boss…

…now kiss my lilly white arse!

Two pieces of ‘news’ crossed my path today and I’m not in a conciliatory or humble mood after reading this pap:

0,,10273~3748565,00Now open at Elland Road, sin bin for smokers 

ELLAND ROAD - SMOKING AREAS

Smoking areas within the stadium...

The club has been creating additional areas inside Elland Road stadium to enable fans to smoke on a matchday.

Fans in the South Stand, East Stand, North Stand, North East Corner, and South East Corner will have access to smoking areas for the 2010/11 season.

The areas in the North Stands are newly constructed and the areas are adjacent to the turnstiles and exit gates so can be primarily used once the game has started.

Any fans using these areas are encouraged to following the instructions of the stewards in maintaining a clear passage to exits in case of use.

How very kind of you, the next time I buy my season ticket for the princely sum of £480 I will doff my cap and whisper a little prayer to your kindness in allowing me into your new, super dooper sin bin for smokers.

CEO Shaun Harvey said: "We've put these facilities into place so people who need to smoke will have the opportunity to do so in an authorised area rather than in the stands or toilets which causes significant discomfort to other fans.

"We hope fans will appreciate these measures taken and restrict their smoking to these areas so as not to spoil the enjoyment of others.

"Unfortunately, these areas will not exist in the North West Corner or the West Stand as there is insufficient space for them to be incorporated in those stands. They will remain non-smoking stands."

Oh thank you Shaun for your clubs benevolence which has brought me to tears whilst writing this. And what do you mean “We’ve put these facilities into place so people who NEED to smoke?”  How about we WANT to smoke? I suppose that does not fit into the anti smokers agenda when they see us as drug addicts driven by need and have no choice, smokers choose to smoke, period!

Was the smoking ban being ignored in the stands Shaun? Is that why the patronising board at Elland Road gave smokers their sin bins?

New boss, same old, same old.

smoking_outsideRelax ladies, your safe, relatively speaking, for now.

And now the shiny new coalition government has decided not to implement the previous NuLabour bansterbator’s “outside smoking ban” but let the SmokeFree fake charities know that they were not ‘rolling back’ the ban. Who’s kissing lilly white arses now?

Smokers will continue lighting up outside pubs and offices after ministers yesterday scrapped plans to extend the ban.

Phewww, that saves me some jail time for smacking some no mark ‘enforcer’ in the mouth as he berates me for sitting outside the Jovial Monk having a fag whilst freezing my nuts off.

The last government had proposed enlarging ‘smoke-free’ zones to include the areas around building entrances, but this has been shelved.

Good, I’m glad that that particular piece of crap has been shelv…SHELVED! What do you mean shelved??? Does that mean when you’ve ran out of ideas (if you ever had any) you will look on the shelves, dust something down that has been lost in your dim and distant memory and say “that’ll do, can’t be seen to be doing nothing, after all, it’s only smokers and our friends at Fake Charities “R” Us tell me that they are a dying breed so harassing them will provoke no sympathy, even if they are passed their three score and ten.”

Anne Milton, public health minister, said: ‘We have studied the smokefree legislation and decided not to proceed with the planned review.’

Well Anne, I’ll just wait till you and your coalition has it’s feet well and truly under the Westmonster table before I sigh a sigh of relief.

She added: ‘We are not rolling back the smoking ban, nor are we deploying austerity as an excuse for deregulation.

Well of course you and your new boss, Cleggy, are not ‘rolling back the smoking ban’ Anne, you told us as much when you rolled out your much vaunted  ‘Great Repeal Act’ of Labours 600 new iniquitous laws, and there is none so iniquitous than the smoking ban experiment.

Hey, but don’t listen to us, we are scum, you have said as much in your diatribe above, no, listen to the vested interests that want your our money:

But doctors and health campaigners fear further proposals to cut the rates of lung cancer and other smoking related diseases could also be scrapped. 

These include banning cigarettes being displayed at the front of shops or being sold in vending machines, both put forward in Labour’s Health Act last year.

A spokesman for the British Medical Association said: ‘The BMA is extremely concerned that the Government will not implement the 2009 Health Act.

‘These laws are vital as they will help put an end to the loopholes that allow tobacco to be advertised to children.

Can you hear the squealing? The squealing of suckling pigs as they are taken away from their mothers governments teats!

Doff my cap I wont!

9 comments:

Pat Nurse said...

Are smokers who voted for this NuGovt shower really going to shoot themselves in the foot again if we ever get to have another general election in the near or distant future?

Anonymous said...

Top shelf piece,TBY
But I would like to add something a bit more spicier for the attention of any nanny,zealot or
similar pansified wacko reading this blogsite. It has occured to me
the righteous like dishing out
discomfort and suffering to a sizeable chunk of the population.
Now,I, being a very unselfish decent sort of chap would like to share this misery with all the nice
anti and complacent non smoking
folk. Now as we all know ,there a few thousand ways of upsetting little convivial groups of talking
heads.However to maintain the element of surprise the "in" scenes should be selected on a random basis.
Whats that we hear,"be reasonable".
Sorry ,folk, reason,politeness,
fair play have joined freedom.
In the wheely bin.

Ard Dunto

Dick Puddlecote said...

To be fair, I think Leeds are actually making an effort to accommodate smokers, unlike most clubs. What's more, I've no doubt the local smokefree quango would have been in touch to try to stop them doing so. As such, the provision of smoking areas is laudable. As I understand it, currently the only option is not to smoke at all, or to smoke outside the stadium but not to be allowed back in!

Cricket is so much more civilised (as I've written about here before) ;)

As for the bit about government ... spot on, they're so detached from reality they may as well be on the moon.

John Watson said...

Have LUAFC developed a conscience, I doubt it, Have they realised that large numbers of fans actually smoke and to deny then facilities hurts the profit margin very possibly!

It remains to be seen what other clubs choose to do or what the anti smoking lobby attempts to do via the FA. for the FA the choice is a simple one, they can back the anti smoking lobby and watch football clubs die like the pubs or they can support football by supporting the fans before they choose to stay home with a can and smoke enjoying the game in the comfort and conditions they desire as is their freedom to do.

A good question Pat, I think that until people start stripping the veneer off of what the politicians tell us and see what they are actually saying then they will do what have always done and vote for who they have traditionally voted for.

Until Politicians actually listen to those they represent instead of their party and so called 'charities' we will never be able to trust or respect them,.

Dick Puddlecote said...

"Have LUAFC developed a conscience, I doubt it, Have they realised that large numbers of fans actually smoke and to deny then facilities hurts the profit margin very possibly!"

Why is it relevant why they have done it? Could be to protect profits, yes. It could also be to alleviate problems from people smoking where they shouldn't. Whichever reason it is, it's market forces at work which is exactly what we have argued should have happened with the pub trade.

It's a good thing. It offers at least some choice so is a step in the right direction.

nannyknowsbest said...

Well I didn't vote for this bunch of tossers (come to think of it - NO-ONE did!!).
For Nick Clog to say that the Smoking Ban is akin to the death penalty is to equate an enjoyable habit that hurts no-one to dangling from the end of a rope.
I wonder if they will repeal the act (passed by the past government) making it illegal to dive on the wreck on the Titanic without a government permit (check it out - it WAS passed by the last bunch of w@nkers) - or would this be tantamount to scrapping the drink drive laws?

Finally, when one of these council appointed Hitlers slap a Fixed Penalty Notice on you for smoking in the same town as anyone wearing a hearing aid, just remember that, once they retire, 25% of your ever increasing council tax will go toward making sure that they have a happy and smoke free retirement.

John Watson said...

I think that it may matter to those who purchase season tickets or at the turnstiles.

Personally I would like to think the measure is put in place for the patron's benefit, that the club cares about their patronage and not just because it affects their profit margin, but then, that is just me.

If it is to alleiviate smokers smoking where they should not, they must have been in significant numbers and not just a few, then clearly the measures in place were unworkable.

Yes it is a very good thing that Leeds United have thought this through and come to the conclusion they have, and as you say it is also what should have been allowed to happen with the pub trade, as such it is indeed a step in the right direction.

budgie said...

Let's just keep one thing in mind - it is not illegal to smoke in a public open space. The tossers at Leeds were no different to the other tossers by persecuting smokers. Their back pedalling has absolutely nothing to do respect for smokers. This has been forced on them by popular demand, economic considerations and widespread flouting of THEIR ban. They should be apologising for bullying the smokers who, as John pointed out, shell out hundreds of pounds to support the club. Not unlike smokers who support pubs.

Anonymous said...

I guess they originally banned smoking because they thought it would be good business. Lower cleaning costs, no complaints from anti smokers and most people would put up with two hours without a cig. They didn't foresee that the toilets would be full of smoke, so have now decided that smoking areas are a better solution. Seems overall a good thing. Similar at Manchester airport. Now a smoking area airside in T2 and one soon in T1: I guess because of smoking in the toilet, people wanting to go back through security, generally an unpleasant environment for staff and passengers whan planes are delayed. Sure, beyond passport control opens your eyes to what living in a Police State is like, but this is an improvement.

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