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Sunday, 25 July 2010

the [smoker] peasants are revolting…

And about time too!

The Borg may have said “all resistance is futile” but in the face of the UK smoking ban experiment we smokers think differently.

When a biological individual is altered to encompass the Borg's various cybernetic implants and hardware, they lose all sense of individuality, and become a drone, and part of the Borg commune. By way of a network of advanced subspace communications channels the individual will be absorbed into the Borg 'Collective' -a hive mind, or singular consciousness which incorporates all drones everywhere. It is this control mechanism that drives the entire Borg unit with devastating efficiency.

After individuality has been stripped, and assimilation into the collective has taken place, a typical Borg drone will be programmed for certain ship tasks, like any vessel crew member. But drawing on the knowledge and experience of all Borg, and all archived encounters, technology, tactical information and scientific data, the Borg collective is closer to perfection than any organic crew operating under a Command structure hierarchy.

From the very first day of the UK smoking ban resistance fighters voted with their feet and left the pubs to the oncoming Tsunami of righteous anti smoking beardy types that wanted a smokefree pub in which to drink their shandies, thus filling the gap vacated by the dirty, filthy smoker.

These modern day resistance fighters have invented The Smoky-Drinky place.

One of the first Smoky-Drinky pubs was Merv’s place:

 

So entrenched now is the Smoky-Drinky place that they even give out awards for the best ones.

One who knows about such things is Leg-iron:

These things make Smoky-drinky small and isolated. There are Smoky-drinkies everywhere but we can't find or talk to each other because we are always wary of strangers. That wariness is what makes Leafar's site so difficult to maintain. A great idea but we're paranoid about ASH infiltrators. Smoky-drinky is not illegal as long as we stick to the rules, but there are many who would like to make us illegal and these days they need only the flimsiest of pretexts.
What we need is a flag flying over that shack. One we can recognise and approach, knowing that we are kindred spirits.

And here’s one I made earlier…err, that one of Leg-iron’s many readers put together:

Jolly-smoking-rogerThe Happy Smokers Smoky-Drinky place.

Viva la Revolution!

But wait, the revolution does not stop there.

Whenever I think of ASH I change the name to CASH in my head, so for ASH think CASH, your cash, the cash that is prised from your purses and wallets by HMR&C. Now in the past, many decades ago now, we expected our the government, when it came budget time, that they would stick a penny or two on a pint of beer and around a penny or two more on a packet of fags or tobacco. But that was before the likes of the fake charity CASH started getting big bucks by the back door to hammer the smoker, (a 10% rise in tax in the 2010 budget would be in the interests of the smokers own good, obviously.)

The irony of all this is that they, the fake charities, are taking your tax money, you know, that 10% that CASH was pushing the government to cosh you over your financial head with, will benefit because they are subsidised by your the government with your tobacco taxes. And that other fake charity, Alcohol Concern, use the same principles as CASH does, TAX, TAX, TAX, (we need your money to stay in a job!)

But we smokers and drinkers needn’t be used like this! We are under the yoke auspices of that kindly and benevolent group of countries called the EU where, surprise, surprise, the other satellite states that make up the EU have tobacco and alcohol products that are dirt cheap compared to the UK. So why pay the British government your hard earned taxes for these products when you can go abroad and fill your boots?

Here cometh that other revolution I wrote about earlier.

pIRATE 12 It’s my money and the tax man ain’t getting it!

Now, I do not have a passport, haven’t for decades, but since the late eighties I’ve been buying my tobacco cheap from friends and friends of friends in the many pubs I used to frequent at grossly reduced prices. They always did the ‘booze cruses’ and had many shiny baubles in the shape of Benson & Hedges, Silk Cut or Golden Virginia etc. and I had a never ending supply of smokes. That tailed off after that fateful day on Sunday 01/07.  No smoking in pubs, no me, I was not welcome so consequently my supply dried up.

I have now just filled in the form for a passport. Next thing to do is find out how border control works? I don’t have a clue…but I know a man that does, nudge nudge, wink wink.

The enemy (the government) aren't listening because we are not hurting them. Well it's time we did. There is no need to wait for our supposed leaders in the campaign against the smoking ban because, to be quite frank, they aren't achieving anything anyway. Parliament just pats them on the head and sends them away with nothing. They do great work but nobody there listens ... it's time to stop being nice!

And if you have no idea of how much you pay in tax for your enjoyment of tobacco in this country…

YOU are in control of whether they get that money or not. lt's the tax on tobacco/cigarettes and it is not an insignificant amount.
A pack of 20 cigarettes cost on average
£5.70 and from that £5.70 the government get £4.40! ... yes £4.40.
Golden Virginia tobacco costs
£12.12 and from that the government get £8.60 ... yes £8.60 (source)
The government then use that money to fund such as ASH and other anti-smoking groups. So YOU are paying your enemies to treat you like pariahs. ls that insanity or what?
A single smoker who smokes 20 cigarettes a day pays the government £39.90 a week, which is £2074.80 a year. 40 a day ... £4149.60 a year!  STOP PAYING THEM!

Too bloody right I am stopping paying them N2D, I am a proud smoker but not THAT proud.

Don’t be a revolting peasant, be a peasant in revolt!

----------------------------------------------------------------

If you, a smoker, are in any doubt that we are persecuted then you should take a look at Pat Nurse’s blog. Pat Nurse is a freelance court reporter and sees many sides of life that most ‘ordinary’ people do not see, and most probably would not want to see.

Being a smoker herself she is increasingly perturbed with the number of court cases involving smokers who have been harassed by the smoking police. One particular case, out of many, has spurred her on to do something about it.

Pat will, in due course, put up a paypal appeal for smokers that fall foul of these cretins and their ‘smokers are a cash cow for the council’ mentality and this blog will put a link to it on the side panel.

9 comments:

Smoking Hot said...

:) My daughter, when she was 6yr old, came back from school and told us what she had learnt that day. lt was about life in the county and how they shoot peasants :)

Pat Nurse said...

Thanks TBY.

Amsterdam, for example, is a great city to buy tobacco in and we don't have to fill our boots. We are allowed 3Kg legally = £300. This equates to (I smoke unfiltered roll-ups by the way)60 packets of 50g of tobacco - doubled if my other half comes with me - and it lasts me about four months and then I get another cheap flight and accomodation and do it all again. Just imagine also what fun it could be if we organised social trips abroad to coincide.

The cheap Ryanair flight per person costs between £50 - £70. Look around and check out operators. EasyJet is good too.Make sure you only take hand luggage aboard then you don't pay extreme baggage handling charges and forget the insurance too.

You can also look up hostel accomodation. I think my room in Amsterdam cost about £35 per night. Smoking is banned but discretely allowed. Only one night is needed for a shopping trip. Flight and accomodation is still cheaper than buying tobacco in the UK and paying tax. It really is a win win situation for the smoker and you don't need to buy from the baccy man and get accused by CASH of funding terrorism.

This informal campaign was started by Nothing2Declare blog. Get in touch over there. More advice and information on cheap flights and cheap countries to buy within the EU is available.

As for the smoker's fund, I will sort that out asap. My own view is that the fines etc are punishment and designed to be part of the "denormalisation" process which will become criminalisation of smokers. By paying fines of smokers who fall foul of either petty littering or laws that didn't exist more than 3 years ago, we are saying to the smoker that we are with you, you have done no wrong. The aim of state punishment is then removed. There can be no punishment if smokers facing court know they have nothing to fear.

I know paying smokers' fines has a mixed reaction in the movement with some believing that it just adds to the state's coffers but they keep fining, and we keep paying, surely something will have to give and at the very least the Govt will realise that CASH's assertion that 75% of people want something done about the 25% of us is entirely false. We can't tell 'em coz they aint listening so let's show 'em!

Pat Nurse said...

... and yes, SH - recall my junior school days and telling my teacher that my grandfather was an Italian pheasant :)

richard said...

i went to bruges last week, hour and twenty drive from calais or there is a bus from calais to adinkerke. Belgium is shockingly cheap at 200g for €15, and the ferry and bus are very cheap too.

Holl said...

I'd like to stop paying for my own denormalisation but like you (TBY) I don't got no passport. I don't know anyone selling it cheap either (no not a passport!), no man with a van round here.

I'd be interested in getting myself a passport and going with someone who knows the ropes though.

Any organised trips from the South West?

Smoking Hot said...

Holl, one hopes this Resistance thing will spread and anyone displaying the flag (all variants) on their site will be part of it. There will be advice from them and hopefully in your area. Any advice needed at moment just e-mail me ... addy is on blog.

This site gives current prices in Belgium ... about 30km from Calais. Take Sterling as they take it and price in Sterling.

http://www.brugestobacco.com/en/index.php?option=com_virtuemart&page=shop.browse&category_id=49&Itemid=80&vmcchk=1&Itemid=119

Ryanair are fascists when it comes to baggage, hand baggage weight and size ... be careful when dealing with them.

l hope a Resistance network does grow ... it would be a thorn in the anti-smokers and govs side . Although do expect to be called a criminal organisation, terrorists etc ... l kid you not!

Pat Nurse said...

I believe the Resistance ball has started to roll.

Yes, I think we should organise bus trips and surely there cannot be any laws against someone without a passport giving us a gift of money for our holidays, and in return we bring them a gift of tobacco back as a souvenir?

I mean, it's not like selling it and depriving HM tax in the same way that going over with a van, stocking up with goods to sell for profit on the BM here is illegal. Surely we haven't become such a facist state that buying friends presents from trips abroad is illegal.
Is so, then I'm guilty, because I often bring a pack of fags back from my hols for my daughter as a pressie

Anonymous said...

To TBY and all other fighters in the North
Get your passports and join the Gothic Resistance Dreadnought
which sails whenever neccessary
from North Sea Fleet base.HULL.
OK you have to booze and smoke
on our cozy port/aft deck easy but who cares each worthy fghter stuffs
the Exchequer to the tune of £800+
if they stay within the guidelines.
Anyone who might need a first time
guiding hand needs only to get on
the F2C forum.
Note! All advice is given in
accordance and protocol within UK
and EU statutes.

PS
Hull-Zeebrugge Mini Cruise
inc 2 night cabin and free transfer bus to Bruges(7 hour stay)
2 person....£72 each

OR
Normal booking (4 Person)
2 nights cabin inc From£54 Ret
Zeebrugge to Ostend 7 hours stay
5 Euros Ret KUSTBAHN (Coast Tram)

So mi hearties ,all aboard and lets
hit the ASH funders where it hurts.


U no U

Pat Nurse said...

Aye Aye Capt'an. When ye sail next? Can we organise a crew trip?

How much does group bookings cost - anyone know?

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