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Sunday, 16 August 2009

How very dare they?

Where does one start with this crap from the Sunday Sun? Might as well have a look at the beginning and see how it goes from there.

'Devious' tobacco bosses slammed

TOBACCO bosses have been slammed for “marketing death” by using beautiful young women dressed in orange satin jump suits to sell their product in busy bars.

Young women, carrying trays reminiscent of those used by ice cream vendors at cinemas, have been going into pubs selling cigarettes.

The pubs involved, which include the Centurion bar in Newcastle city centre, allow the girls into the bar in return for a small amount in commission for each packet sold.

One can only assume that the deviousness referred to is that of selling a legal product, to those who are legally permitted to buy it, on premises where the legal owner has given his/her assent.

How very dare they?

There's not really much to object to, but I'm sure some righteous bint will be along soon to tell us exactly what to think (it's not like we're allowed to make decisions for ourselves or anything like that).

Lo and behold.

The sales tactic was blasted by Ailsa Rutter, Director of Fresh – the campaign for a smoke-free North East.

She said: “What this is doing is glamorising the most lethal consumer product known.

“The last thing we need is the blatant promotion of cigarettes, which are the region’s biggest killer.

“There needs to be more regulation of an industry which is basically marketing death.”

There is so much wrong with this (apart from yankee spelling from the journo) that it is laughable.

More regulation? Listen, dearie, if your lot hadn't legislated a legal business out of every other avenue of promotion, this wouldn't be happening. If you need someone to shoot, try turning the holier-than-thou gun on yourself, eh?

And as for the 'last thing that we need'? When you use the first person plural, please don't include me, or any of the other 11 million smokers, in your definition of 'we'.

Ms Rutter said: “This is another example of why we’ve still got a huge amount of work to do."

No, Ailsa, this is another example of why people like you should be strangled at birth. Just shut the fuck up.

“I’m not having a go at the girls at all, they are just doing their job, but the companies need to be regulated"

Oh. How incredibly generous of you, your tediousness. Let's turn that one on its head, shall we? I'm not having a go at you for being an interfering fucknut, as you are just doing your job, but those who employ you, and those who pay for 'services' such as yours, should be taken somewhere dark and quiet and given a kicking of biblical proportions. Seeing as we are all equal under the law, I'm sure you will concede that my opinion is as valid as yours, yes?

“I would argue that there needs to be a proper licensing system. We need to be limiting the number of outlets that can sell this product and we’re calling on the Government to do everything in its power to tackle this."

There is that 'we' again. 'We' need to do nothing of the sort.

That aside, you're calling on the government (no capitalising from me when it isn't deserved) to do so, are you? Well, that would be quite simple seeing as you are entirely paid for by them. I believe it is called 'Astroturfing', a term you like to apply to groups such as Freedom2Choose who receive no backing whatsoever, whilst simultaneously benefitting from exactly such patronage yourself. A bit ... err ... devious, wouldn't you say?

Can we take it from this, then, that banning legal companies legally selling their legal product to legally entitled customers on legal premises, will be on the agenda of the next 'smokefree everywhere' wankfest?

Considering we will never get any semblance of common sense from any smokefree dirtbag, it is probably best that we finish with incontestable logic from the tobacco industry instead.

A spokesman for Japan Tobacco International, the parent company for Benson and Hedges, said: “It’s not illegal to sell tobacco products. You have to be over 18 to buy tobacco and that’s why they were visiting an over-18 venue.

“All of our staff are fully trained on challenging for ID - we have a policy of no ID, no sale.”

Not much to argue against there really. Might I also add that Japan Tobacco generate their funds from willing purchasers, instead of leeching off enforced and unpopular taxation, like certain bigoted, state-sponsored prodnoses I could mention?


Anonymous said...

It's a bit like selling sweets in the classroom and telling the kids that they mustn't eat them in there. Like the planes used to come round selling fags and then tell you that you can't smoke them.
I hope this doesn't catch on as it's offensive.
Saying that, it will be a good idea ehen the ban on smoking in pubs is overturned.

helend498 said...

I say "how dare they" as well.

What on earth is wrong with selling a product to consumers wanting to purchase it in a place that has authorised it.

I suppose they don't complain about the gypsies gate-crashing with their roses etc without the owners consent do they? Or the rookie photographers taking advantage of the owner when his back is turned.

The zealots are continuing to dig themselves an early grave.

Anonymous said...

Top shelf article ,Dick
This demented Dame, Alisa, is just another one
of the loveless suffragettes who cause limpness in men's privates.This unwanted titless Amazon probaly gets her kicks for
her barren existence by sipping Sainsbury's
own brand Chardonay,pissing standing up and
watching Casualty replays, occasionally
venturing into the local Wetherspoons to bore
the Rupert trousers of the local Uncle Waldorf look alike golfperson.
What a sad ,sterile ,sorry old hen,I would'nt
shit on her AllBran

Antonio Bandera's Barber

timbone said...

haha once again the tobacco industry is ahead of the despots. No vending machines? solution. Send some nice girlies round with trays of fags. Customer gets 20 for the price of 20 (not 16 for the price of 26) and landlord gets paid for it.

B7 said...

Young Women in pubs selling a legal product gets my approval.

Ailsa Rutter, Director of Fresh, not elected by the public, not approved under any circumstances.

TheBigYin said...

I think this tobacco company is being sexist to the extreme! What would Mrs. P say if here husband took a part time job and wiggled his ass just to make a few bob to suppliment his income, just to afford a ticket for the cricket! Mind you, Dick dressed in lucid colours with a wig and makeup would be a sight I'd pay money for!

I think this is a case for Hariet Hormone!


Andy Davis said...

"What this is doing is glamorising the most lethal consumer product known."

Wanna fight Ailsa? Ive got a chainsaw, my consumer product of choice for today. i will take on you and as many cigarettes as you like.

Barking Spider said...

This pent-up bitch sounds like she's never had a good shag in her life - followed by a lovely fag, of course.

helend498 said...

Seeing as cigarette sales are up by 35% in the recent survey by, we're going to need more ways of purchasing these popular products, particularly if sales keep rising on this basis.

Go for it girls, you are providing a service for consumers that is obviously needed and it keeps people in jobs.

Oh - I forgot - the likes of Ailsa Rutter aren't bothered about keeping people in work are they? I'll be the first to laugh at her when her empire starts falling further and she's out of work. There's so many cracks showing now, it won't be very long.

TheBigYin said...

Your not being helpful here Spider! I've been married for 38 years and I can't remember when I had a good shag ffs. Oh yes, it was all don't need to know!

Now if one of these ladies walked into my pub tomorrow...I would look at her goods and buy a couple of packs, after all, a bargain is a bargain, fook the sex!

Anonymous said...

They were not selling to minors, so what is her/we problem?
Typical prohibitionist, how much of our tax paying money is she getting a year.

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