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Monday, 7 December 2009

Stating the bleeding obvious

You don't say.

... smokers are dropping more litter outside pubs, cafes and offices since the smoking ban was introduced.

There really is a very simple solution to this, if there was anyone in government with the mental capacity to envisage it. Let's leave Keep Britain Tidy with that intricate conundrum for the time being, though. They might work it out once they have finally solved the 12 piece Bob the Builder jigsaw.

If that baffles them too much, why not just blame smokers instead, eh? Rather than the self-absorbed morons who forced them all outside in the first place.

God forbid that the smoking ban experiment should be backed up by an increase in strategically placed outdoor ashtrays. You know, the sort of thing that Keep Britain Tidy might find useful for such a pressing problem. But perhaps that would cost too much money to service a mere quarter of the adult population.

No. A much better use of resources is to pay £millions to smoking cessation officers, council anti-smoking snoops, snitch-lines, and wall-to-wall TV advertising.

Then blame the smokers for costing the country a few quid in street sweepers who would still be employed to do the same job if we all quit tomorrow.

In other news, Keep Britain Tidy are advertising for the position of "Chief Kettle Operative", salary £45k pa. Such new-fangled devices are complicated and they're becoming increasingly thirsty.

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