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Thursday, 24 September 2009

Special Offer-crap Punch pubs!

Punch Taverns, backers of the smoke ban and a supposedly level playing field (pardon?) have fallen on their own sword yet again as it is today announced that 300 of their pubs are now up for sale with Christie + Co, "many at revised prices, to stimulate interest and secure buyers.” Revised prices? Well upon my soul!
"and most are available with vacant possession."
Vacant possession? Well upon my soul!

It would seem that Mr Thorleys masterplan of a level playing field, whilst simultaneously sucking up to this government is backfiring dramatically. Is it any wonder that " most are available with vacant possession" when more than 4,000 pubs have now gone forever thanks to the smoke ban. Who in God's name would contemplate financial suicide by buying a 'vacant pub'?

It's vacant because it couldn't make any money.

It's vacant because the previous licensee probably went skint.

It's vacant because smokers have said 'up yours Thorley'.

A Punch spokesperson said: “Some of these sites have already been on the market but they are being relaunched....."

err....they are being relaunched because no-one has had the stupidity to purchase any of them from the once proud Punch empire. I say once proud empire because pre ban their shares were sitting at £13.79. On the 18th Sept, 2009 they rocked precariously at £1.24 having bottomed out at £0.38p in March 09!
To say that Giles Thorley should have been captain of the Titanic is no understatement as he has steered Punch Taverns into the iceberg known as financial oblivion.

'Clean air pubs' mean absolutely nothing when they are virtually empty.

'Clean air pubs' mean even less when most of the customers sally forth to the nearest supermarket for cheapo beers.

'Clean air pubs' means sweet sod all when nearly 100,000 employees are now jobless within the hospitality sector.

It would also seem that Punch have reduced their own 'national debt' from £4.5bn to £3.5bn-but how are they to achieve the latter debt payments when they are already reducing property prices - as they hadn't sold in the first place?

Has it not occurred to the business genius known as Giles Thorley that perhaps admitting he was WRONG might be the best course of action and start campaigning for choice - that way he might actually salvage half his remaining 'empire'.

There you go Giles, a simple man on the street has just saved your crumbling empire!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I bet that Giles (the cartoonist) would would have made some really funny cartoons on passive smoking and empty pubs.

Dick Puddlecote said...

The silly sod. And now they're turning their guns on his product, he's probably right behind the axe the beer tax campaign (which ain't gonna happen), while ignoring the Amend the Smoking Ban one.

Perhaps someone should explain the concept of a slippery slope to him.

Mac the Knife said...

I can hardly type for laughing. Serves the stupid, gullible, smug, self-satisfied bastard right. I hope his shareholders fucking crucify him.

Truly uplifting.

Gigits said...

HAHAHAAHAHAH (inhale) HHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAH!

Pavlov's Cat said...

Very well put.

I think Mr Thorley is much like the current crop of Righteous politians and will never admit he was wrong. We the punters will be to blame for not understanding.

Mac the Knife said...

"We the punters will be to blame for not understanding."

Absolutely bang on the nail Puss. I've seen several comments in the pub trade papers along the lines of:

"Why don't smokers just accept that the world's moved on?"

or:

"If smokers couldn't get cheap booze from the supermarkets, everything would be all right again"

The silly bastards can't, or more probably won't, get it. We go to the pub on our terms or not at all.

helend498 said...

Tough - they backed the wrong horse. I will spend my money only where I am welcome.

It looks like millions of others are doing the same as me as well....

Now, if the pubcos decide to stand up for their customers' rights instead of dancing to the tune of idiotic socialist nannies, I may change my tune and help them with ther ailing businesses. I believe the other millions like me will do so as well.

Their fate is on their own hands, particularly now that U-turns and eating portions humble pie appear to be the norm.

Anonymous said...

There's a pub in my ghetto with a sign over
the door, "We are now a fresh air pub"
The air is fresh allright,the pub's been
shut 18 months.The landlord spent £18000
tarting the joint up for the "new people",
they never came,

Come into my Web said the Spider to
the Fly

Anonymous said...

Hope we have a shitty winter and the pubs close by the thousands.
I now meet a better class of person staying home with a nice bottle of cheapo plonk and 20 B&H.
When that gets too expensive I will grow and cure my own tobacco and brew my own tipple.
This smoking ban has made me happy !!!

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