And the award for righteous cronyism goes to ...

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The righteous community were today congratulating one another on one of the most breath-taking instances of mutual onanistic back-slapping ever witnessed.

In an astonishing display of cyber tonsil-tickling Harpal Singh, of Cancer Research UK, nominated Deborah Arnott of ASH for the 'Women in Public Life 2009' awards after she faithfully did exactly what Cancer Research UK had paid her to do.

Mr Singh was gushing in his praise for the camera-shattering doyen of the do-gooders,

"As bullying bigots go, she's the tops! Government give us money to leperise smokers, we bung some to Debs, and she tells the government what they want to hear. Brilliant.

She could use the money for something useful, but each time we think the latest loopy plan that our pharmaceutical partners come up with is too difficult to sell, she comes up trumps by doing exactly as we ask and passing it through to the department of health, who paid us, to pay her, to lobby them for it."

Singh swatted away criticism that there could be better recipients of the award, you know, like people who actually like to help communities instead of urinating on them from a great height, by stating:

"She's a very good helper. She helps herself to a barrowload of taxpayers cash every year, without fail. Plus, I don't think it's right to say she is damaging to communities, I mean, just look at the massive success of pubs since the smoking ban was forced through the public's sphincter with her sandpaper-coated glove. They are so full now when I drive straight past them without stopping, as I always have done, that people are spilling out into the street.

No, she fully deserves the award for the incredible feat of doing the job that she is paid for. I bet you won't find many other women who do that, will you?"

Mr Harpal Singh was brought to you by Pfizer, your friendly neighbourhood multi-national drug-peddler.

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