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Sunday, 12 September 2010

Permission to smoke Sir?

_49070041_010088509-2Have you got a light mate? 

Hey, they are still alive, still trapped down a mine in Chile but I guess we bloggers have moved on to other things eh? The health fascists have moved on and relented, just a tad. From the pit face the smoking Miguel has drafted his thoughts after being given a reluctant smoke.
Miners trapped deep underground in Chile for more than a month have been given permission to smoke.
Thank you Sir, thank you, I'd doff my cap but it’s as hot as hell in here and I'm thinking of health and safety and all that! (This being stuck underground for months must be playing havoc with my mind, I’m sure something is creeping up on us.)
Health officials had previously refused to send the men cigarettes, saying smoking would pollute the air in the refuge where they are sheltering.
You are a gentleman and a scholar Sir for thinking about my health as I await to be rescued sometime next year, meanwhile you have a good Christmas, which is only a few short months away, [a brease for you, not for me.] (What is this feeling that something is about to engulf us all?)
The 33 miners will be sent two packets of cigarettes a day through a supply tube to share between them.
I’ve done the maths Sir and 40 cigarettes shared amongst us is more than generous Sir, thank you, thank you, thank you.
But until now they have had to make do with nicotine patches and gum, sent to them through a supply tube.
Now the smokers among them will be able to light up, at least occasionally, while they wait to be rescued.
I know now Sir that you were only trying to help when you gave us those patches and gum but we got it all wrong and chewed the patches and tried to stick the gum on our bodies but it didn’t take us long to work out that we were getting it all wrong…still, it gave us a good laugh for a few hours and took our minds off morbid thoughts, like dying, for instance.

A couple of months ago I was drinking and smoking a Cuban [I was kindly sectioned off in case I infected my non smoking compadres] in my local cantina whilst reading the local rag about the uselessness of the patches and gum that you provided us for a laugh earlier, needless to say that this is a lot of hogwash, as my American cousins might say. This woman is talking a lot of crap because me and you know different, don’t we?

While I’m trapped down here, (what is this feeling I have got that something is creeping up on me? Probably nothing I suspect as Health and Safety have told me the worse scenario is that tobacco smoke will end our lives within days, if not within hours, it is the modern day plague, isn’t it?)

I heed your wise words, even if my compadres scoff.
"We are not going to give a pack of cigarettes, but rather a limited amount," a member of the rescue team, Dr Jorge Diaz, told the AFP news agency.
It gladdens our hearts that there are people out there that are thinking of our health and trying to keep us alive in the face of Second Hand Smoke and smoking in general, I will take no heed  about my forebodings of something lurking in the background to kill us all, I think they call it acid mist, not sure though, the employer is pretty vague on this.

Oh and I am not a hero!
The miners have become national heroes in Chile since a drill probe reached the underground shelter where they had survived for 17 days without contact with the outside world.
I am just a man who is facing death as the worse case scenario, I am not a statistic on a computer spreadsheet made up to look like you have my best interests at heart, I read, and I think just like any other man, I worry about my wife and children’s upkeep and general health, I worry about bills that I find hard to meet and I find a way of  of meeting them, in this case, mining, a hazardous job that you ‘intelligentsia’ would have you heave your tofu breakfast up at the mere thought of doing a hard days work there, never mind putting your life on the line to make a scrape of a living!

I am just as intelligent as the man sitting next to me, I  am a human that is not above learning, but you ordain to treat me as sub human.

Do me a favour, let me die in F****** piece eh, or do you health nuts want to follow me to the grave? While you are there tell my wife and children why you lied just for kudos in the anti tobacco fraternity!

PS: I follow the patron saint of England, Jimmy Saville, who once worked down a coalmine:

Signed: John, Miguel, Frank, Frances, Jack, Mary, Beryl, Janice, Mohamed…

A big mound of cat litter to Pavlov's cat for this furrball.


Bucko said...

Have you heard anything back from that "This is Kent" reporter. He hasn't done his follow up story yet and I've been emailing him for a date but haven't got a response.

I'm about to publish a shitty post about him if he isn't going to do the story

TheBigYin said...

Not a word Bucko, not a word. I guess this is a non story now amongst the MSM gliteratti.

Bucko said...

I guess it is. C&*^&^$£$^&*ts.

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