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Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Turn of the screw from the deranged

There was a man, a lonely man” or so the song goes but in this case you can add sad and pathetic in the same sentence.

The sad and pathetic person I'm talking about is Alderman Paul Bartlett who’s on Stony Stratford Town Council (no, I’ve never heard of it either).

Paul Bartlett picks up cigarette butts in Stony Stratford
He wants to ban smoking in the streets.
MKWEB proudly gives us the headline:

No ifs, no butts – town asked to outlaw ciggies.
A town could soon become non-smoking as one councillor bids to ban the butts.
Alderman Paul Bartlett (left), who sits on Stony Stratford Town Council, is calling for a street smoking ban in an effort to stop litter louts from throwing cigarette butts on to the streets of the historic town, and to ‘make the environment cleaner’.
I mean wtf? Why is he not campaigning to get smokers back in pubs, clubs and bingo halls like our Chairman or the people behind the Save Our Pubs & Clubs campaign? That would go some way to getting the  ‘butt’ litter off our streets and into ashtrays, after all that is what ashtrays were designed for. And of course he does not mention the mountain of half eaten garbage in plastic, non bio-degradable cartons thrown in the street by night time revellers. 

So is the Alderman an eco warrior, determined to clean up our streets of garbage? Or is he one of them, you know, a smoker hater and denormalizer?
He said: “Why should people have the freedom to smoke in my face, pass on diseases and spoil the environment?
“When you walk through the high street in any town smoke is in your face and harming you and any children there.
Yep, he’s a smoker hater and denormalizer! What gave it away? Was it the old ‘think of the children’ gambit? If he’d thought about it children stand way below an adult smoker, who’s smoke goes upwards but a child stands not far above an exhaust pipe in towns and practically everywhere else...or am I just being pedantic here? 

And another thing, do us smokers smoke in other peoples faces? I surely don’t and when smoking in town I make sure my cigarette does not go near a child in case they run into my hand and get burnt, you know what children are like.
“Smokers then get their butt, which is full of saliva, and chuck it on the floor.
Can’t smoke in pubs, clubs, bingo halls, cafeterias, restaurants or anywhere where you can relax inside private business properties and are forced outside to smoke…when finished you look around for a bin with an ashtray on top and…sweet FA. But when you could smoke inside these buildings they provided, yes, you guessed it, ASHTRAYS!

And what’s the “full of saliva” quip all about? So all smokers walk about with a communicable disease just waiting to pounce and kill an innocent non smoking bystander?

And you just gorra, gorra think of the cost to clean up the butts, not other discarded rubbish that there are anti litter laws in place to counter, just smokers rubbish.
“It costs millions to clear street rubbish, and goodness knows what a child could pick up from them.”
Millions? For a small town like old Stony? I’d be checking my council tax bill if I lived there and wonder if the refuse company is getting huge kickbacks from those that award the contracts…oh, wait, that would be the local politicians that run the town, wouldn’t it. Wait, did the good Alderman just mention the childreeen again? Smokers are sooo anti children and need laws to curb their infanticide tendencies, don’t they?

But I wont be too harsh on the good Alderman, after all he wants to create jobs for plastic plod (CSO’s).
He said the ban, if enforced, could be policed by community support officers, traffic wardens and even members of the public.
Yep, get the anti smoking public to vent their hatred of smokers, that’ll work, won’t it?

I wonder where the good Alderman got his anti smoking ideas from? Oh f***…
In May the Mayor of New York banned smoking in the city’s parks and on its beaches, and Cllr Bartlett, who is not a smoker himself, believes if it can work there it can work in Stony Stratford, and feels it could attract business to the town.
We smokers are doomed, doomed I tell you! If it happens in yanky doodle land then it’s not long before it happens to a town near you.
Please read the full article about this shining light, this paragon of virtue that is named Alderman Paul Bartlett.

As an addendum you’ll get no prizes if you notice all that is not right with the picture of this numpty above and I’m sure you’ll add words to encapsulate what an anus he really is.

Hat Tip to Chas from the f2c forum.


Grandad said...

I would agree that he needs to ban smoking, but only at the spot in the photograph, as that seems to be where all the smokers go? The rest of the pavement is fine so he should have no problem with that idea..

TheBigYin said...

Hi Gramps. Yeah, it all looks so staged. The rest of the street is pristeen.

Budvar said...

I say let him do it. Thing with these fucktards is they always fail to take into account the law of unintended consequences.

Making the town "smoke free" will not just target tobacco products but anyone with a BBQ, burning garden waste, a chimnea to take the chill off of an evening, well basically anything that produces particulate emissions.

I note with particular interest his comment "He said the ban, if enforced, could be policed by community support officers, traffic wardens and even members of the public".

Members of the public no less, wonder how long it will be before said "members of the public" begin ratting out the local council for smokey vehicles, road repairs, farmers for burning stubble etc?

You just know that this is going to end well!!

Leg-iron said...

The New York ban hasn't worked. It's been widely ignored and the police there have far too much serious stuff to do to bother with smokers.

As for 'attracting business', if I owned a business there I'd have the for-sale signs up today. Best get shot of it to some mug who hasn't seen this story yet because if he's banning those cutomers who stand outside half the time, business is finished.

So is tourism by smokers this year and by everyone after next year, because there won't be a viable pub, club, cafe or restaurant left. Most of the other shops will find the smokers aren't bothering to come into town any more. Visit the out of town supermarket or order stuff over the internet instead.

I say let him do it. The utter demise of one town is a small price to pay for such a perfect example of the fASHist agenda.

Maybe the people who live there will beat him to a pulp once the last shop closes.

TheBigYin said...

Your right about the unintended consequences Budvar but people like the Alderman dont give a nanny's apron string whether businesses suffer or not, they are so narrow minded. As for the public dobbing smokers in to the plastic smoke police they, the public, fall for this type of guff, hook, line and sinker and wouldn't think twice. Give them a smoker hotline and the anti smoke advocates will ring them without a second thought.

Leggy, I know the New York ban doesn't work but that's not the point, people like this shit Alderman start a ball rolling that has smokers vilified. Cunts like him have to be stopped and vilified as nutters, which he is.

jredheadgirl said...

Not only are these "laws" and "ordinances" having detrimental effects on small businesses everywhere (on both sides of the pond), they are also tearing communities apart and laying the foundations for straight up fascism.

Anonymous said...

found this on google -I couldn't possibly comment about it!

Dick Puddlecote said...

"And what’s the “full of saliva” quip all about? So all smokers walk about with a communicable disease just waiting to pounce and kill an innocent non smoking bystander?"

That'll be the denormalisation in action. Pack a bag, TBY, you won't get notice of the gulag you know. ;)

selsey.steve said...

Nobody chucks away fag-ends that long!

Budvar said...

Oh I beg to differ, we had deadbeats regularly rooting through the rubbish sorting out all the dogends on a sunday morning prior to the smoking ban.

timbone said...

"when finished you look around for a bin with an ashtray on top and…sweet FA"

I went to "Media City" on Tuesday night to see John Bishop doing an episode of "John Bishop's Britain". For those who don't know, 'Media City' is the name of the newly built complex at the old Salford Quays which is soon to be THE home of the BBC. What a place. Shiny buildings, lots of glass, a Manchester Met terminal, everything, like stepping forward in time.

Now obviously, people smoke. Before those of us with tickets, well, wrist bands, went in to the studio, many of us had a last cigarette in the wonderful state of the art outdoors.

With all the planning and wonderful architecture, one thing had been forgotten, ashtrays. There were not even bins.

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