Turn of the screw from the deranged

“There was a man, a lonely man” or so the song goes but in this case you can add sad and pathetic in the same sentence.

The sad and pathetic person I'm talking about is Alderman Paul Bartlett who’s on Stony Stratford Town Council (no, I’ve never heard of it either).

He wants to ban smoking in the streets.

MKWEB proudly gives us the headline:

No ifs, no butts – town asked to outlaw ciggies.

A town could soon become non-smoking as one councillor bids to ban the butts.
Alderman Paul Bartlett (left), who sits on Stony Stratford Town Council, is calling for a street smoking ban in an effort to stop litter louts from throwing cigarette butts on to the streets of the historic town, and to ‘make the environment cleaner’.

I mean wtf? Why is he not campaigning to get smokers back in pubs, clubs and bingo halls like our Chairman or the people behind the Save Our Pubs & Clubs campaign? That would go some way to getting the  ‘butt’ litter off our streets and into ashtrays, after all that is what ashtrays were designed for. And of course he does not mention the mountain of half eaten garbage in plastic, non bio-degradable cartons thrown in the street by night time revellers. 

So is the Alderman an eco warrior, determined to clean up our streets of garbage? Or is he one of them, you know, a smoker hater and denormalizer?

He said: “Why should people have the freedom to smoke in my face, pass on diseases and spoil the environment?
“When you walk through the high street in any town smoke is in your face and harming you and any children there.

Yep, he’s a smoker hater and denormalizer! What gave it away? Was it the old ‘think of the children’ gambit? If he’d thought about it children stand way below an adult smoker, who’s smoke goes upwards but a child stands not far above an exhaust pipe in towns and practically everywhere else...or am I just being pedantic here? 

And another thing, do us smokers smoke in other peoples faces? I surely don’t and when smoking in town I make sure my cigarette does not go near a child in case they run into my hand and get burnt, you know what children are like.

“Smokers then get their butt, which is full of saliva, and chuck it on the floor.

Can’t smoke in pubs, clubs, bingo halls, cafeterias, restaurants or anywhere where you can relax inside private business properties and are forced outside to smoke…when finished you look around for a bin with an ashtray on top and…sweet FA. But when you could smoke inside these buildings they provided, yes, you guessed it, ASHTRAYS!

And what’s the “full of saliva” quip all about? So all smokers walk about with a communicable disease just waiting to pounce and kill an innocent non smoking bystander?

And you just gorra, gorra think of the cost to clean up the butts, not other discarded rubbish that there are anti litter laws in place to counter, just smokers rubbish.

“It costs millions to clear street rubbish, and goodness knows what a child could pick up from them.”

Millions? For a small town like old Stony? I’d be checking my council tax bill if I lived there and wonder if the refuse company is getting huge kickbacks from those that award the contracts…oh, wait, that would be the local politicians that run the town, wouldn’t it. Wait, did the good Alderman just mention the childreeen again? Smokers are sooo anti children and need laws to curb their infanticide tendencies, don’t they?

But I wont be too harsh on the good Alderman, after all he wants to create jobs for plastic plod (CSO’s).

He said the ban, if enforced, could be policed by community support officers, traffic wardens and even members of the public.

Yep, get the anti smoking public to vent their hatred of smokers, that’ll work, won’t it?

I wonder where the good Alderman got his anti smoking ideas from? Oh f***…

In May the Mayor of New York banned smoking in the city’s parks and on its beaches, and Cllr Bartlett, who is not a smoker himself, believes if it can work there it can work in Stony Stratford, and feels it could attract business to the town.

We smokers are doomed, doomed I tell you! If it happens in yanky doodle land then it’s not long before it happens to a town near you.
Please read the full article about this shining light, this paragon of virtue that is named Alderman Paul Bartlett.

As an addendum you’ll get no prizes if you notice all that is not right with the picture of this numpty above and I’m sure you’ll add words to encapsulate what an anus he really is.

Hat Tip to Chas from the f2c forum.

Google Tags: Alderman Paul Bartlett, anti smoking mug, Ban smokers from the town streets then string them up.