Careful now

Via Man Widdicombe, another inspired piece of marketing from Brewdog, who you may remember being attacked for their Tokyo* brew a couple of months ago.

As a response, they have released their new beer, entitled Nanny State, which weighs in at an Alcohol Concern wet dream level of 1.1% alcohol.

The label is a sarcastic delight to free choicers everywhere.

At BrewDog we appreciate your inability to know your limits - especially when it comes to alcohol – which is why we've created Nanny State.

This idiosyncratic little beer is a gentle smack in the right direction.

It's time to draw your net curtains, sit back with Nanny and watch your favourite episode of Last Of The Summer Wine. It's finally safe to enjoy alcohol again.

Please note: BrewDog recommends that you only drink this beer whilst wearing the necessary personal protective equipment and in a premises that has passed a full health and safety risk assessment for optimum enjoyment.

Once the obligatory reference to drinkaware.co.uk is added, the urine-extracting message will be complete.

Marvellous.

Pat Karney: Righteous idiot. And your taxes pay for him

Any citizen of Manchester will be well aware of the illiberal state-sponsored cock-gobbler, Pat Karney, but he is exceeding even his own high standards of self-righteous, priggish bigotry since a renowned artist suggested law-abiding citizens, enjoying a legal product, be part of a parade.

Coun Karney told the M.E.N.: "It's a family event and there's going to be thousands of children and young people there.

"Featuring smokers makes a mockery of the millions that has been spent on smoking cessation programmes."

No, Pat, what makes a mockery of the millions spent on smoking cessation programmes is the fact that no cessation of smoking has occurred as a result of your spunking taxes up the puritan wall.

Smoking ban fails to curb the habit: Figures reveal men are smoking MORE

The ban on smoking in public has failed to increase the number of people quitting, a report revealed yesterday.

The proportion of men who smoke has actually risen since the ban in July last year while there was no change at all among women.

The figures, coming after years of declining smoking rates, are a massive blow to Labour's public heath policy.

Manchester might be better served by a trained chimp rather than Karney. Remember that he is Director of 'Smokefree Manchester', who collude with other mutual bansturbators to spend 43 million fucking pounds of our taxes every year (and growing) on their pet prejudice.

He's not good at irony, either.

"There's no doubt that kids do see smoking everywhere and that it's a free society but to spend public money in this way would be a complete disgrace and bring shame on Manchester."

Kids do, indeed, see smoking everywhere. Never more so than after the smoking ban which Karney was abso-fucking-lutely ecstatic about.

So, Pat, you tedious helmet, let's get this straight. Your argument is that you wish kids to be shielded from the sight of people smoking ... yet you are fully behind a law which forcibly thrusts smokers into the gaze of minors, against their will? You also object to horrendous waste of public money, yet at the same time, piss it away like water on ill-conceived schemes which result in no benefit whatsoever?

You're a right card, you.

Just a thought, you hideous prick, but wouldn't it be better if you were consistent and advocated smoking pub-goers being kept inside for the sake of the chiiildren? That way, your stance against perfectly upstanding members of the public being paraded in this way might actually hold some water.

And if you truly object to public money being wasted, how about fitting Smokefree Manchester's cheque book with a common sense lock, only to be picked by people who are sensible and reasoned. People unlike yourself, for example.

Pat, just stick to what you do best ... like inviting the re-decorators in on behalf of your fellow Mancunians, cos you thought it was a good idea at the time.


Pat Karney is brought to you courtesy of the Labour Party.

Brussels is "too clever or civilized"

Time to ditch those Belgian clichés, it would seem.

Remember the days when we used to snigger at that irrelevant, uninspiring land which was somewhere near France? When The Sun used to laughingly challenge their readers to name famous Belgians and come to the conclusion that most only knew two, one of which was the fictional Poirot?**

How things change once a government hell bent on the destruction of everything British get their teeth into closing down every avenue of enjoyment for its citizens. The Guardian is now extolling the virtues of Brussels as a city with a thriving hospitality industry. It's never been so cool.

Untouched by the EU anti-smoking directive, Brussels' cafe culture is buzzing. Here are some great local spots to grab a coffee, or something stronger

As one commenter to the Guardian's piece put it, "Still don't understand why in Brussels there's no smoking ban though...maybe they're too clever or civilized?"

It's a global recession, says Labour. And the smoking ban is universally popular. Considering the vibrancy of Brussels nightlife, one must come to the logical conclusion that both of these statements cannot simultaneously be true. In short, Labour are lying (yes, I know it's an obvious one, but there is a chance that a hermit crofter in the Outer Hebrides may not have noticed it yet).

If even the Guardian are talking up the benefits of not enduring an over-arching smoking ban as a partial reason for a burdgeoning interest in Belgian bars, when pubs in Britain are currently being read the last rites, Labour are in serious danger of having their life support system switched off themselves.

The only beef left-leaning Grauniad readers can find with the story is that the EU might be looked on as authoritarian by the implication that smoking bans are directly attributable to the unelected commissioners (hence the article headline being changed to correct the misconception at 4:47pm today) instead of being laid directly at the door of our weak and illiberal government.

Patronising goons like Patricia Hewitt and fatty Liam Donaldson can bang on about health costs as much as they like, but as this article shows, there is a reciprocal degradation in social welfare which is entirely ignored.

The unelected EU commissioners may well not have passed the legislation which is destroying the social fabric of British pubs, but why the need when we have a lardy unelected cock of our own to do it for them? Liam Donaldson hasn't gained a single vote from any of Britain's 44 million electorate, yet has pushed through the UK smoking ban and is now after your beer whilst his minions are going for your chocolate.

Belgium are too clever for such nonsense. Their objection to silly rules has resulted in a benefit to their country in city travel, at least, and a more relaxed and happy life for all of their population, not just some.

So the answer to the Sun question of naming famous Belgians can now be answered with "all 10 million of them".

** The other was Jean-Claude van Damme, if you were interested.

The Nu Puritans

Once upon a time, in our distant land in a distant era, if you didn't match the stereotypical white, Anglo Saxon, heterosexual Christian you were deemed fair game for abuse, derision, denormalisation, hatred, violence and even death.

Thank god those days are over in this land of ours called Great Britain and we have the history books to remind us every now and again how it once was and that we should never go down that path ever again.

And then came the Nu Puritans! The high and the mighty who wear hair shirts and weild their bloody axes to smite those that don't match up (or shape) to their lofty, population mind control ideals in NuZanu Great Britain.

Now we have a new bunch of undesirables to roast on the spit of new found intolerance, the drinker, smoker and the more rotund of us, aka, the obese, (we used to call them fat people but I guess that didn't put the burning tyre around there neck so the puritanical replaced it with OBESE. It hurts when you see it in large print, doesn't it?)

These paragons of virtue who hold sway over our lives these days are eagerly aided and abetted in their hatred of our lifestyles by big business, businesses like Ryanair:

"Tubby or not tubby? Ryanair ponders slapping 'fat tax' on weighty passengers" The headline boasts.

"NO-FRILLS airline Ryanair has moved a step closer to introducing a "fat tax" for overweight passengers by launching a consultation on how it should be introduced.
The move suggests the Irish carrier could follow several airlines in the United States in charging extra for "very large passengers"."

And in true Nazi style the many are encouraged to sharpen their axes by enticing them with money:

"The company wants customers to vote by next Monday on four options for the charge, after the tax came top in a passengers' poll seeking the best cost-reduction idea. Ryanair said revenue from a fat tax would be used to reduce fares"

Ah, those polls eh, don't you just love em? That'll be those polls that were independently conducted and verifiable would it?

And of course if that was not enough to make the more portly of you despise yourselves Ryanair have a few ideas on how one should be damned as OBESE, they've done a few calculations for the witch hunters to ponder:

"The airline has asked for views on whether the charge should be based on a passenger's weight, their waist size or body mass index. A fourth option would require a passenger whose waist touched both arm rests simultaneously to pay for a second seat."

And, of course, where there's a so called 'vice' to condemn then there's a shit for brains group urging, pushing and hollering from the rooftops "go on, go on...it's for their own damn good, we wouldn't say it otherwise!"

"The move won strong support from the National Obesity Forum yesterday as an incentive for passengers to lose weight."

There's more bilge from Ryanair Spokesman Stephen McNamara provided in the article but I've read enough to keep me gagging for a long time to come so I'm keeping my head down and making for the hills, looking for the nearest cave to curl up in and effing die!

Oh, did I forget to tell you that fat people are blamed for Global Warming?

But that's another story.