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Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Ash Wednesday=Cash Wednesday

This is a blog courtesy of an angry citizen of this country. A retired citizen of this country. A citizen that saw the horrors of war with this country. A non smoking citizen of this country. So the scene be set folks.

We shall call this gentleman Fred, for want of a name that will stick in the mind, and we shall show you, the good people of this country just how low the anti smoking brigade are willing to stoop in their efforts to eradicate tobacco.

Some time ago 'Fred' was diagnosed with cancer, thus needed surgical skills to rid himself of said disease. The hospital, I am reliably informed, asked the immediate questions but were thwarted from ticking 'the right boxes' as they thought for 'Fred' does not partake of the joys of smoking. Whether they determined that 'Fred's' cancer was thus obviously caused by second hand smoke, third hand smoke, dirty stinking exhaust fumes, the last bonfire night party or even the barbeque last summer is not known. What is known is that 'Fred' was quickly assessed (privately at a cost of £5,000 as he was scared to have to wait to see a specialist on the NHS) and deemed worthy of costs of operating. Well, that is what the National Health Sevice is for folks!

That was some months ago and I am happy to report that 'Fred' is well and trully on the mend thanks not only to the skills of medical men & women but equally due to the love and care afforded by his doting wife.

This morning was no different to any other morning in the 'Fred' household-until the postman starting getting aggravated with the letterbox, finally conceding defeat as he rapped the knocker in frutration. 'Freds' other half opened said door to be handed all manner of envelopes and small packages, thanked the postman and shut the door behind her before proceeding to the kitchen table where she dumped the lot. All were addressed to 'Fred'. You can imagine his amazement when, after opening all 'his' mail, he found himself staring at a veritable plethora of QUIT smoking paraphernalia. Please fully absorb the immensity of this from the photograph taken!

I cannot believe the amount of 'bumpf' sent to one household-especially to a non-smoker who did not request the stuff in the first place! What about the cost of producing all this unwanted crap? And what is the blue & blue beady thing in the foreground? is it some form of ritual hanging device for smokers who can't quit?

There are booklets large, booklets small, information sheets, round things, leaflets-all manner of paperwork designed, no doubt, to make you feel totally ill at ease with yourself for being a smoker!

It is an absolute disgrace that 'Fred' a self confessed non smoker, having had the misfortune to suffer from cancer, has obviously been identified as a target for this 'mailshot'. It does show the total inhumanity shown by such as ASH et al in their never ending march toward tobaccoless Utopia. They don't care about your feelings, my feelings, the lady down the roads feelings or 'Freds' feelings just so long as they get their way with people. The fact that this country is nigh on bankrupt seems to have no effect on these puritannical pricks. The fact that the products they are using either have a 98.4% failure rate (NRT) or send you crackers (Champix) don't bother these pillocks either. The fact that they are wasting inordinate amounts of money on trying to force smokers who don't want to give up, to give up seems to pale into insignificance-just so long as they are receiving all that wonderful funding from a rapidly failing Coalition. I say rapidly failing for the simple reason that they have not listened to the people, they are not interested in the wellbeing and happiness of 15 million subjects-but they want them to work their arses off to get this country out of the shite! Why not, then they can waste even more money on fake charities like ASH et al and send more totally useless quit smoking bumpf to other elderly non smokers!

Just to help you understand the magnitude of waste here, not to mention the massive insult to this elderly NON SMOKER, I am able to catalogue this load of bilge for you:-

1 glossy colour pamphlet 12"x 8" with 43 pages (Stop smoking start living)

1 " " ring bound 12" x 8" in BRAILLE (Stop smoking start living)

1 black envelope containing 6 coloured cards 6" x 3" with 'graphic' smoking images.

1 glossy coloured pamphlet with 43 pages (Your guide to quitting for good with Smokfree)

1 coloured 'cheque book" containing IOU's to give to people to stop smoking in return for tasks such as 'I'll tidy my bedromm if you stop smoking)

I 8" x 4" glossy colour pamphlet to fill in to send off for more "quit kits" for your friends (with pre paid envelope)

1 8" x 4" glossy colour pamphlet 13 pages recommending NRT methods

1 circular cardboard coloured disk (How quickly will it improve your health chart)

1 6" x 3" glossy 3 page card (willpower booster)

1 3" x 2" diary (My quit planner)

1` 18" x 12" colour glossy wall chart (My quit journey)

1 3" x 2" colour glossy card with contact details (Get expert help to quit)

2 8" x 5" pages of coloured stickers (You can do it, well done)

1 dvd in case (Stop smoking start living)

1 week FREE trial to send for NRT patches (Freepost) with booklet

2 A4 covering letters.

1 'twisty blue plastic bracelet thing' 'stress toy'

1 A4 envelope (post paid)

1 8" x 6" cardboard box (post paid)

Take another look at the photograph and try and guess the production costs and p&p for this little lot-and then ponder of the usefulness of these quangos any longer!


The Filthy Engineer said...

Ans where is this bonfire of the quangos that we are promised? I wish they'd posted something like that through my door. I'd post it to ASH without a stamp.

PT Barnum said...

So are we now supposed to deduce that cancer causes smoking?

If it were me, I'd incinerate the lot and put the resultant ash in one of their envelopes before returning it to them. Is that third or fourth hand smoke?

Xopher said...

The BIG SOCIETY will never be that big when the clever little schoolboys in charge keep pissing us off.
Obviously Eton teaches sense that is far from common.
Come on all those who 'bravely' voted against nanny when in opposition - Let's see if any of you value belief above party compliance.

F2C Seminar said...

If all this crap is being sent to a non-smoker, they will need parcel force to send the full 'shitquitkit' to the smokers as the poor postman will be making a claim for compensation.

The witch from Essex said...

What a lovely collection of goodies. Must have cost around 30 quid with postage to try to get a non-smoker to stop smoking !!!
So how much is being spent on smokers I wonder ?
The anti smoking bandwagon must have friends/family in the print game who are on a nice 'little earner' with this pile of shit.
Don't you just love the 'stress toy'?
One could be sent to every tax-payer in the country, as this puritanical spiteful anti-smoking crusade is taking the piss out of all of them

Anonymous said...

This is something that should be on BBC showing responsible journalism of how money is being wasted and people being victimized in cruel ways by those rent-seeking on taxpayer monies. Of course BBC will go silent on the matter as they're in on the take along with Guardian and the rest of the filthy putrid lot. A public confrontation of the 646 would be a good place to start. Disgusting this sort of thing is going on, more so it's kept secret by the filth running the country. Imagine how the victim of this outrageous terror attack must feel at home trying to recouperate.

Anonymous said...

And what is the blue & blue beady thing in the foreground? is it some form of ritual hanging device for smokers who can't quit?

That's the quote of the year mate !!!!!!

Angry Exile said...

My flabber is ghasted. Cheeky bastards. What's that old saying about assumption being the mother of all fuckups?

TheBigYin said...

@Angry Exile. The whole issue of disease is assumptive by the anti everything brigade. They think if the deasese fits their crime (criteria,) no matter the properly conducted science behind it, then it must be so.

For example, the anti booze campaigners will say that if you drink more than your allotted"allowance" by the UK goverment standard then you may get mouth cancer, stomach cancer, Cirrhosis of the liver, bowel cancer etc etc, it's a rollercoster for them and anything in the atmoshpere is a diversion from their main stop you doing what you enjoy. If it goes through the mouth then there is an anti organisation that wants you to stop putting it into your mouth and will assocciate everything you put in it with undescribable pain and torture until you do their bidding!

There are only three things that I enjoy in life, a drink, a smoke and a shag...well two out of three aint bad, is it?

There was a time in my life when the 'C' word was not mentioned in any household but now they use the word cancer to beat people around the head with.

Angry Exile said...

BigYin, yeah, it's all this policy based evidence that's become so popular these days.

Anonymous said...

I was always under the impression that medical records are confidential - so how did whomever assembled this package come by the information i.e. 'Fred's name address and the fact that he had been treated as an oncology patient?

It would appear that righteousness trumps patient confidentiality in the NHS.

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